True Believer ♥
“When people cared about each other, they always found a way to make it work.”
“Women want the fairytale. Not all women, of course, but most women grow up dreaming about the kind of man who would risk everything for them, even knowing they might get hurt.”
“Love wasn’t possible in just a couple of days. Love could be set in motion quickly, but true love needed time to grow into something strong and enduring. Love was, above all, about commitment and dedication and a belief that spending years with a certain person would create something greater than the sum of what the two can accomplish separately.”
“But if it couldn’t be love and it didn’t feel like lust, what was it? Like? Did he like her? Of course, he did, but that word didn’t capture his feelings, either. It was a little too… vague and soft around the edges. People liked ice cream. People liked to watch television. It meant nothing, and it didn’t come close to explaining why, for the first time, he felt the urge to tell someone the truth.”
He wanted to hear her concerns and alleviate them, he wanted to hold her and kiss her and convince her that he would find a way to make their relationship work, no matter how hard that might be. He wanted to to make her hear his words: that he couldn’t imagine a lofe without her,that his feelings for her were real. But most of all, he wanted to reassure himself that she felt the same way about him.”
“You found out who you are and what you want and then you realized that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. And so you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.”
The 4th Nicholas Sparks book I’ve read! ;)
Silent Drill :)
Silent Drill. It’s a military drill with the stunts and everything using the riffles.
It was mid-October when Sir.Nino announced about that Silent Drill thing. And I was like.. I don’t care. I know I’m not included. It’s the officers who are, and the SLTCs, and the JOs, ofcourse. They started having their training every morning and after-class. And had a whole-day-Saturday-training once. Until October 24 came. Wednesday. It was raining hard. We were practicing at the Gleeclub for the upcoming UnitedNations. And my bestfriend, my Gu, Louise, told me that Silent Drill competion will be for the 4thyear students only. And she asked me if I wanna join. But the decision is not into her. It’s on Sir.Nino. And I just think and think about it. Is he gonna pick me up? I wish soooo! I really want him to. Definitely! And my Gu also told me that my crush is included there. And then my heart beats fast. Ohmygod! It made me wanna join more. :) And after the GC practice, I was walking at the canteen when the officers called me and asked me if I would agree to join the Silent Drill. I told them yes. And also, Sir.Nino personally asked me about it. I also told him yes. In my head I was like.. “Is this for real? Me holding a gun, a rifle?” Me joining in this kind of military drill?” And I’m happy, absolutely am. This is unexpected! It would be fun, for sure! And at that moment, all I could say in my mind and in my heart.. “Thank you Jesus!” ♥
October30. After-class. That was the first time i held a rifle. It’s kinda heavy, but there are some light ones. I gotta choose a light one, ofcourse. My bestfriend is the one who first trained me everything about the rifle. I remembered the first thing that we did. It was the rifle exercise. And then the basic stunts. October31. That was our first serious training. Sir.Nino taught us the first part of the drill. It’s a half-day training from 7am to 12noon. Novermber5-9. A week of Silent Drill training. Morning and after-class. Every morning, I have to wake up early. 4am. I achieved it, ofcourse. It was like.. Everytime my alarm tone plays, What Makes You Beautiful, the thing that’ll come into my mind is the Silent Drill. You know what they say, it’s easier to wake up early when you know there’s a great thing that will happen for the day. :) 5am when I’m leaving our house with my Mom. Good thing. she’s here. She’s supporting me all the way. That’s why my co-SDs were always saying to me that I’m only an early comer ‘cause of SD Training, but a late comer when it was just an ordinary day. :D Whenever someone’s coming late, thay have to do this duck-walk thing. Guess what? I never came late. I’m so proud of myself! =)) Anyway, it;s 5:30am to 7:00am, Then we’ll attend that classes. And sometimes, we’re practicing at lunchtime, sometimes not. And the After-class training. From 5pm-6pm. Sometimes earlier, later. It depends. And before going home, my friends are always, eating Siomai and Zagu. It was like a routine for us. Everyday. :) We also had half-day or even whole-day trainings. But to sum it up,
Here’s the sequence.. The entrance. Tanghal. Pasulong.The Hi-formation. Wave. Firing. Empty-shell. The 3-group formation. The fusion. The 2-circle formation. The firing position. The circle formation. Planting rice. Over-head pass. The heat formation. The flying-kiss. The cha-cha dance. The domino. Rifle-throw. Bow. Bye-bye. The likuan. Lumansag. :)
Training moments. Tiring moments. Happy moments. With the seniors, ofcourse. I’m really gonna miss everything! ♥
P.S. Anyway, we won. 1st-runner up. ;)
Hearing those words..
10-30-12. On around 10:40am-11:40am. That was the day. An unexpected day. A day I never thought would come.
I don’t know how to start this. But hmm.. Okay. I fell with the guy who used to love me before. I’m not sure if it’s already love, or almost, or just infatuation. But anyway, at first, I thought I was just missing him, all those crazy little sweet things he used to say and do. But it turned out to the point that he’s always in my mind, always I want to see, always I want to talk about, always I want to talk with. And at this time, compared before, I was able to know him more though our long talks and everything. It happened that we became closer now. Like he actually tells me about anything and everything, having those pointless conversations that last for more than 5 hours a day, I think, or more. And just like what I said, through those things, I get to know the real him. I get more emotionally-attached with him.
But anyway, what really happened on that day is.. He went to our classroom just to pass a detailed report. My classmates teased me, ofcourse. And it happened that our subject teacher interviewed him for a while. She ask him questions. About me. About us. Before. Direct to the point. She asked him if he still love me. And he answered no, but he did, really did. The word “did”. He already love someone else now. Oh well, he likes a lot, honestly. He’s kind a flirt one. And also she asked if he cried because of me. And he answered yes, a lot, actually. She asked a lot. Here are his answers. He mentioned the first time he did cry. It was when we, my family, moved here at Binan City from San Pedro. ‘Cause we’re childhood friends since then. It was us being apart form each other. He also mentioned about how I stopped him from courting me twice. The last one is at the end of the school year. March 23,2012. And ofcourse, this thing, everyone knows. The unforgettable one. That surprise presentation he did at the Virgo room last school year, March192012 to be exact. It’s the craziest. They reminisced it. Yayyy! And out of all the the thing he said, this one is what really hurt me, and somehow, made me glad. That I was really the first girl he made and did the efforts most. He said that this way.. “Alam naman niya yun e. Alam din naman yun ng mga friends ko. Na siya talaga yung pinaka pinag-effortan ko.” <3 </////3 And my classmates are like.. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.. And sang the song “Naghihinayang” Okay. I have to admit it. I cried. I was crying while he’s saying everything. All those things he said.. I knew. I heard. I felt. He already told me that before. Oh well, the reason why I cried, part of it is because it felt like embarrassing. And another, I’m torn again. Torn between what I really feel. Am I mad? Or am I falling more? Or neither. I don’t know. Maybe I have to distance myself form him first. But one thing’s for sure. I know in my heart that I can’t get mad at him for anything.
At the end of the day, I know there’s nothing for me to regret about. It already happened. And he’s a wrong one, really is. But I just can’t help it. I like him, yes. He makes me feel the sparks. Maybe I want him to want me like before, but not to be a serious one. Unless he changed.. But I think it’s kinda impossible now. I don’t know. Maybe. Let’s just let it be.
P.S. Someday, I will finally find the will to stop this. Just not today..